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Saturday Apr 29th, 2017  

 A look back on a Chicago baseball season gone bad
posted 8 years ago

I know thousands of you must have had a World Series with the Cubs on your bucket list—things to see before you croak. Sorry, my friends. It doesn't matter how much lipstick you put on this goat. Your Cubs are still baaaaad. Wednesday was the 63rd anniversary of the last World Series game won by the Cubs, for those of you at the assisted-living center in your "Party Like It's 1945" shirts and funny hats. Tradition matters. But don't you worry, if Mark Cuban does buy the Cubs, he will make sure that they continue to be total losers in the very same way his basketball team is. As for the White Sox, well, our Soxxies had an occurrence of their own. They were folded and put away neatly by Tampa Bay, a team with a proud baseball tradition that dates back weeks. Our side has Ken Griffey Jr., Paul Konerko and Jim Thome, but we can't beat a team whose biggest star is Evan "Don't Call Me Eva" Longoria? I guess somebody had to be the first franchise to lose to Tampa Bay in a playoff. It's a little like becoming the first Democrat or Republican to lose a presidential election to the Green Party.

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